SerenaObhrai.com

…so we had a performenace today. i was so fucking nervous. okay, we all were. the room at the back smelt of dirty underwear we were sweating so much, and nerves were at an all time high. there were three of the five groups performing tonight (26/10/05) and our group was by far the strongest. this isn’t just my own personal opinion, but all of the audience’s too. even the people in the other groups thought we were strong. i’m not sure what made our group like this, but a lot of people have mentioned the fact that our group has bonded the quickest and was the best out of them all. not sure how this helps (maybe we help each other more with constructive criticism?), but something seemed to work tonight. i was so fucking proud of us tonight that i can even cry now, if you ask me to relive it. we were all so nervous but stood by each other so much, i just can’t even explain in words how that makes me feel. i really am absolutely choked to have such a fine class. we were the only class clapping insanely for our own classes performances, when we could see that we all hit our cues so perfectly – even though adam screwed up (he totally redeemed himself though)!

each of our monologues, though only about 3-5 minutes long, are ingrained in each other’s minds so much we can relay them back to each other. the other 11 people in my class i am lucky to have there beside me. i know i keep dwelling on it, but if you saw how hard we all worked for this shit, then you’d see that tonight definately paid off. we even had THREE people in the class who people said they couldn’t understand (their accents suck) very well, but their acting pulled off their performances for them. the other classes were not weak by any means, in fact, i was honestly chuffed to see how many skilled actors there are in the program already, but there was a certain pazazz in our class. out of the three groups also we had the lone teacher than no one really knew – the other two groups had the same teacher. i’m pretty fucking sure this means something with regards to our performances.

i had damian (fellow actor from the march program), darren (fellow actor from the july program) and shcube shteve (neighbour downstairs) come and see the performance. kraki couldn’t make it cos of work and curtis is just… well, i have no idea what the hell he’s up to nowadays. he sent me a message telling me his life was great and didn’t even respond to my message about my performance tonight, so that ticked me off a little. god knows what he is thinking. i should get my work on film, so hopefully you guys can see it soon i apparently ‘nailed’ my performance and people were laughing left right and centre. my monologue wasn’t even that funny, but it came out fucking awesome, i impressed even myself. there was no time where i slipped out of character, nor did i fuck up any lines, and damian, who i respect a lot because of his acting/writing ability, was so utterly impressed with my performance tonight that he was just stunned and couldn’t say anything more than “i am so proud of you”. this means a lot to me. people i kinda respect a lot value my work = mucho bueno.

and to top it all off; i had a director come and ask me for my name and number for future performances! of the three classes (about 36 people), i was the only one he asked. i’m not sure what this means to me yet, but i’m sure it’ll hit me soon enough.

needless to say, i am fucking chuffed… cheers to you all who support me. time to hit the sack, got school tomoro!

love you all…

xx

so, i’m doing a scene from ‘waiting for godot’ for my final performance in december, with irina. i like irina, she is cool – although you can tell she used to be a depressive and can be greatly hyper-active. but, on the whole, i love her to pieces and she works hard – which gives me full incentive to work just as hard, or even harder. we’ve blocked just under half our scene already, in just a week. i’m pretty pleased with our progress. i have to say though, i’ve never felt so satisfyingly tired constantly, before. school is just so rewarding that i have no idea how to even verbalise it. i’m sure i’ll hate it in a coupla months, but right now, i can’t get enough. i am so sorry for not updating this more – i just don’t get enough time to. i barely even speak to ben. most days end with a coupla hours of rehearsals, and of course that’s not included in school time. except for this scene – because DJ (the teacher) is directing – but wants us to block it. it’s only so he can change everything anyway, but i guess if we are good, he lets us keep what we have. which is rare though, haha. we’ll be getting scenes too soon for meisner, and he’ll assign us partners, i reckon, because james price is like that. very meticulous and hard working. i just hope i don’t get stuck with someone who doesn’t work hard or someone that sucks – and there are a few of those in the class.

apologies to those of you whose emailes i haven’t responded to – i will do, soon. i’d just rather not write some bullshit email that i;ll need to correct in a few days because i didn’ bother trying in the first place. as you can tell, i am pretty fucking tired, but at the same time, very fucking happy

got a performance of my monologue next week – which will be nerve racking, but we’ll see how it goes.i’m so tired right now i can’t even see straight, i do need to sleep.

missing you people at home… say hi to london for me…

over and out.

so nyc is fannytastic, it really is. but, i am fucking lonely. i’ve never really had to deal with it and motivate myself, so this is hard work.

for those of you, also, that think manhattan is like london (or vice versa) then perhaps on first glance it may seem so, but there are so many subtle differences, that they really are not the same. these are some of my personal observations/comments:

- manhattan is dirtier. much dirtier.
- both have a soho, chinatown and chelsea.
- the people here are MUCH crazier. they aren’t afraid to say anything to you – especially strangers.
- bars/pubs/clubs/cafes are open til 4am.
- bagels are overrated.
- tea is hard to buy (like, in a cup, not tea bags).
- guys are NOT afraid to check you out, ladies. and even if it means stopping in front of you directly and staring at you for like a minute or two.
- it is just as expensive to go out here than it is in london. however, buy backs are in operation here – to the bartender’s gain (see previous entry for what buy backs are). shitty bars are also not hard to find (2-4 bucks a beer), but are extremely dodgy if you are either all girls or on your own.
- people are generally quite friendly and helpful – or at least try to be.
- 95% of the people on the subway have no idea what stops follow the one you’re at.
- there are many more bums on the streets.
- new yorkers have no idea what ‘busking’ is, and yet it is everywhere you go on the streets and on the subway – and you do not need a permit to do it here. times square (42nd) is good for this, if you like this sort of thing – they take up A LOT of space to do this and crowds do gather.
- wireless operates in most parts of the city.
- brooklynites are the hardest of the new york citiers. they will fuck you up, if need be.
- new yorkers DO watch sex and the city.

that’s enough for now. god, i am so tired and sore. my back is hurting. i need a massage… might go find some small chinese lady to walk on me.

miss you all.

x