SerenaObhrai.com

Holy MFC!! (Mother-Fucking Crap!! Yes, I did just make that up, so? Shoot me)

The housing in New York City looks fucking PLUSH! And since my folks have decided that they don’t want me to travel too far everyday to and from acting school, I’m gonna be living in some NICE apartment out there! Okay, looks like I’m gonna have to make reservations for all ya’ll that wanna come stay with me I’ll be charging ya’ll like $25 a night…

JUSS KIDDIN’!!!11!!111!!one

Okay, I’m excited, shoot me. Tickets are booked for the 13th of May-ish (isn’t Mummy lovely?), for a week, and the ‘rents will accompany me.

Phew so much to do, so little time. Gotta pass all my five exams between now and then! Got my visa interview this time next week on Thursday, so you guys better hope I get my frickin’ visa, else you’re gonna have a miserable weena to deal with.

Anyway, time for beddy… *yawn*

so yes, i am so bored still writing my goddamn dissertation, but i have nearly finished, and it will be finished by the end of today.

for those of you with MS word 2003, type in ‘webcamming’ and see what alternatives it gives you when you right click

teehee!

word is so lame sometimes. if i type here the word/letters ‘Uk’ – what do you think i’m referring to when that typo occurred? i was trying to write ‘UK’, but for some reason that wasn’t even listed as a spelling correction thingy, when you right-click. golly gosh.

does anyone have any clue about why MS word doesn’t count the footnotes in the word count? (or does it actually count them in, but not highlight them when you highlight all the text? that would be sneaky, and therefore causing me to incorrectly state my word counts in previous essays, haha). today is bitch at MS word day. oh looky, it’s april fools

i swear i have ADD. or ADHD as it’s known in the UK.

i got 6000 words for my dissertation! 500 more and i can officially hand it in… not that it’d make any sense. 1500 more, and i need to cut bits ooooot. something tells me i’ll still be typing after 10,000 words… eugh.

i might carry on then…

the new flora advert is just so reminiscent of that darn-blasted song by baz luhrman (or however he spells it), ‘sunscreen’. is it just me that thinks this?

pizza’s in oven, pore cleaner thingies are attached to face and bf is driving a lame car in GT4 that he has to drive, cos they all do, cos they’re not allowed to mod it. confused? good, you shouldn’t be

still trying to get used to writing one of these thingies so bear with me if i really have nothing interesting to say. actually, isn’t that the point of these things? so that the average person can ramble to no-one, a few people, everyone, anyone? right then, i shall continue

so, pretty much got all my dissertation reading out the way, glad i didn’t go to the sodding wedding this weekend, should have it done by monday; i’d have just felt really crap the whole time because i knew how much work i had to come back to. which is a pretty lame feeling as feelings go. i can actually start writing the darned thing now though, even without finishing my reading, because the introduction is pretty much everything i have read. i’m trying to take the risky route and kinda feel competent enough to write it without botching it up and feeling like i’ve wasted a week – which comes under the dreaded feeling of coming back to so much work feeling, as feelings go.

pizza has seven more mins then it’s done.

so, i’m basically trying to state that internet addiction disorder is kinda falsely advertised and isn’t as bad as everyone who writes about it makes out. only one of the books i’ve read so far on the topic (out of about 6) disagree with the idea of IAD existing, and i kinda wish i hadn’t come across that book, but kinda do also. i feel cheated that my idea is already in print. so, i’m going to change it a little. i’m going to incorporate the idea of bullshit, ‘confirmation bias’ and ‘moral entrepreneurs’ – all of which are kinda one and the same. CB is the premise that researchers make a hypothesis and construct their research to only back up their claim, not really looking at all angles. MEs are people like president bush who like people to follow their ideologies and think that their view on things are only the correct ones, ignoring all others. i kinda included this phrase to include financial gain as entrepreneur kinda implies that. and a bullshitter is someone who doesn’t lie, but makes up a viewpoint or outcome and puts it across not caring about the outcome, so as to benefit them only. it’s all a bit complex and mangled, but should hopefully make sense. now you see why i call it the ‘risky’ route. you do, don’t you…? hello….?

PIZZA!

gotta run…

… i’m gonna have to keep this log updated if i’m planning to go away and people wanna know what i’m upto… god, i am so bad at this…

(texas cowboy type accent, slow)

looks like i returned to this shanty town. i had no idea what i was doing here or how i got here, but all i knew was that i needed to find someone. someone that was going to help me on my journey through this town, and eventually lead me outta here. possibly come with – who knows.

i can just see the sun rising right about now, to my left, and to my right i can see the town house. i’m not ready to go back in there yet, they’re just gonna arrest my sorry ass and haul it back to the county jail. lord knows, i been away for a _long_ time. too long, in fact. i can just about make out a ‘wanted’ poster with what i can only assume is my mug on it.

yup, there goes a train. four fifty five am, on time, as per usual. i lost count how many times i sat here. everytime they get me i come back here. lay here, waiting… just waiting for the lord to strike his angry fist down and tell me how mad he is at me. i’m still waiting for that day.

it’s amazing how quickly the sun lights up the town these beautiful people call home. i love watching every minute of it. helps to remind me that we can’t control everything – try as we might. hell, even i forget sometimes and then something happens… puts me back in my place and i thank the lord he saved me again. he won’t keep doing that, i know it, i can feel it.

somebody shot me in the leg. darned fool wasn’t even aiming at me. tied something on it. gonna get some whiskey down me, then head into town – should forget it’s hurting then. man, she is gonna kill me this time. she told me never to come back if i left again. she told she was going to burn all my belongings and tell our boy nothing about me.

lord knows how old he is now, but that don’t make me a bad father. i remember his birthday! last january sometime, the third! no, wait, it’s the 8th! heck, the numbers look the same with my eyes. i could never see right after billy-jo cut some of my eye. shithead was aiming for my heart! said i screwed his daughter.

(unscrews hipflask. downs the contents)

i’m about ready to head back in. this is my umpteenth time going back home. and about half the time i end up behind bars. i been there so many times, i have my own cell. s’got my name on it too – no lies.

sheriff’s a scumbag though – he just hates me. locks me away for doing nothing, mostly, ‘cept last time i was here. i robbed the bank and rode away into the sunset. i always dreamt o’ doing that. i made my own dream come true. he’s gonna have my ass this time… cos i’m gonna give it to him.

i can’t run from him anymore. and i don’t know why i keep coming back – probably cos it’s the only place i know i can come back to – be it loved or hated. i wish i’da been more of a father to my boy. lord only knows i tried to give up the drink, but it just got the better of me.

(gunshot. falls backwards down towards floor. turns head to look behind)

son of a gun! sheriff’s been watching me the whole time.

(soul rises up and floats away gracefully)

i knew i’d make it outta here one way or another.